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Repairing Friendships

Get your friend back

Losing a friend is like losing a boyfriend, it HURTS! Trust me, I know because I have lost plenty of friends and none of the situations were happy times. Nevertheless, you gotta know what to do when there are hiccups on the road of friendship.

Considering the name of this post, it is safe to assume you are here because you are at odds with a friend and you want to get things back right? Through my experience, I’ve found 3 things we need to do and consider in rectifying relationships that have gone bad. 💡

You know I am ALL ABOUT sisterhood and I do not take this lightly, so let’s get into it…

Here is what you should do:


1. Communicate Better

There is a difference between listening to respond and listening to understand.

Listening to respond means that you are just listening until the other person is done so that you can make your point. This is done without considering what the other person just said to you… This is ineffective communication, at this point yall are talking AT each other and nothing will be accomplished.

💡 The goal of communication is to find clarity and understanding.

Listening to Understand means that you are listening to what the other person is saying, you empathize, you rationalize, THEN you respond with consideration of what was just said to you.

Effective communication is forward thinking you both are working together to get clarity and come to an understanding about something.

Ask yourself: Do I listen to understand OR listen to respond?

Scripture 👉🏾 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT


2. Learn Their Love Language

Figure out how to show your friend you care and appreciate them more often but do this in a way they will receive it best.

Find out what their love language is (The way they express love)

  • Words of affirmation

  • Quality time

  • Receiving gifts

  • Acts of service

  • Physical Touch

Take the 5 Love languages quiz:


3. Apologize

Apologizing requires you to do a lot of intentional “self-discovery” work.

Sometimes you just gotta accept fault or your portion of the fault by APOLOGIZING. There is nothing better than getting a heartfelt apology from a friend. Also, an apology opens the door for conversation.

Scripture 👉🏾 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9 NLT

To say you are sorry shows your willingness to take accountability for your actions. It shows that you care about the friendship.

🔑Tip: Prepare yourself and expect to not be forgiven. In some situations, an apology will not settle the other person but at least you did the right thing and can be a peace about the situation.


After you have considered these suggestions, your next step is to TRY IT OUT! You will never know if it works unless you try!

Something you can do this week: Journal prompt “How can I be a better friend?” Walk yourself through what the perfect friend for you looks like. Then think about the type of friend you are now, then see where you have room to grow.

  • Always leave a comment.

  • Always ask questions.

  • You are welcome to make prayer requests.

  • Always share posts with family and friends.


-Coach NaQuandra


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